rivers2cross

There will be many people out there, who I am connected with, who will know little about my mum. So having recently introduced myself to my new contacts, I thought perhaps it was time to talk about her. Ultimately, if Mum hadn’t got bowel cancer and sadly died from it, my path would no doubt have been very different. I would probably never have crossed with so many of you, who have I since become friends with as a result of my fundraising and raising awareness about bowel cancer going back almost 10 years now. So for anyone who has connected with me in more recent times and wonders why I am continuously asking for fundraising support this is my mum’s cancer story.

Mum, (Jennifer Darvell), was diagnosed with bowel cancer in Spring 2012. She was 75 years old and the news came as a massive shock to us all. I was with her at Wexham Park hospital when the word Cancer was first uttered. She underwent a course of chemotherapy and radiotherapy to shrink the tumour in the bowel and had surgery to remove it in September 2012. Shortly after surgery attention was switched to her lungs where the cancer was thought to have spread to. Mum underwent two further operations, one on each lung, at the beginning of 2013. One of the nodules they took out was cancerous, which we had expected as it had shown up on scans from the very beginning, and it had responded to the chemotherapy Mum had for the tumour in the bowel. The nodule removed from the lung was a secondary cancer from the bowel. Mum had stage 4 bowel cancer.

My late father loved his rowing and was a keen amateur rower at Maidenhead Rowing Club. He was a member there for most of his life. One of the highlights in my parent’s social calendar was Henley Regatta, which they attended together without fail for over 50 years until dad’s sudden death in 2009. I am not entirely sure when this photo was taken, but I would guess in the early 2000s.

For the next 18 months everything went really well, but unfortunately, in November 2014 at her annual check-up the cancer had come back, and once again it was in her left lung. So, February 2015 saw Mum having another operation to remove the cancerous nodule. This was the third time she had had to have this procedure, which is major surgery. There was no complaining and, like with so many people with cancer, she went with the treatment plan. Typically all mum wanted to know was how soon before she could ride her horse and drive her car! There is of course no other option. Six weeks after the operation Mum had the last of her post-operation follow up appointments at the hospital. The operation was successful with the cancerous nodule removed, and Mum made an excellent recovery.

Throughout her whole life Mum had a passion for horses, which began and ended with horses stabled on Maidenhead Thicket. She was a very talented and successful rider and for many years was secretary of the horse show at Littlewick Show. She also judged at many local horse shows. Horses came before everything else, and even when Mum was facing the end, her main priority was making sure that her beloved Shimara was to be well looked after once she was gone.

In October 2015 another nodule was discovered on her left lung, so the decision was taken to remove the lower lob of the lung. Before this could happen Mum experienced a seizure and scans showed two lesions on her brain. At the beginning of 2016 Mum had CyberKnife treatment for the lesions on her brain, and then she had the surgery on her lung. The courage and determination with which she faced up to the illness and dealt with everything that came her way was truly inspirational. She was 79 at this point and a quite remarkable woman.

The picture you see is of me with Mum in Cornwall in May 2016. Unfortunately the CyberKnife treatment had only managed to zap one of the lesions, and she was still experiencing seizures. She was determined to go on this trip to Cornwall to spend a week with some of her oldest friends. Precautions were taken in case anything happened, but the week passed without incident. My brother had taken her down, so I went down to collect her, and what a beautiful part of the UK it is. This is one of my favourite photos of me with Mum.

A couple of weeks after this trip Mum had the final massive seizure which paralysed her down one side and impaired her speech. She was to be in hospital for almost two months. With the help of steroids, she regained her speech and limited movement, but the heart-breaking news was that there were no more treatment options available and she went into a nursing home for end of life care. She died peacefully one week after her 80^th birthday in August 2016.

Mum’s 80th birthday was a bittersweet occasion. We knew that she didn’t have long left and for the first time the light that had shone so brightly all through her treatment for bowel cancer and her life in general had gone out. However, it didn’t stop her from enjoying a glass of wine which she did pretty much every day until the end ♥

So whether my fundraising supports Bowel Cancer UK or any other cancer charities, it is all down to my wonderful mum x I was very fortunate that she got to see much of my fundraising achievements and saw the positive changes in me as a result. I also know she would be incredibly happy to see how many amazing friendships I have built over the last few years. I hope that I can meet as many of you as possible x