rivers2cross

It’s been a quiet Sunday. It had the perfect start at the dog field first thing. On the cold side, but amazing sunshine. It’s interesting because at work I prefer the weather to be wet and mild, probably because the unit is colder on sunny crispy days. Weekends just give me some sunshine!

Once again today I can celebrate the fact that nothing much happened. No dramas or wobbles, so in a way these are my gentle steps towards finding that inner peace that I am looking for. These days where I don’t get caught up in my own thoughts, over-thinking or being overly self-critical. It’s just been a decent day and tomorrow I start again.

My instincts are telling me that the Sertraline that I am taking is helping to balance me. I also feel that I am beginning to use some of the CBT techniques almost naturally. This all helps to raise my spirits and keep me in a more positive and upbeat place. I am very aware that I am only at the very beginning of working through and trying to fix my depression and anxiety. I certainly haven’t at any point in the last three months thought I am miraculously fixed or cured. I remain determined to work on this every day.

Sometimes things don’t always go to plan. I had thought tonight that I would get out my guitar and recoding equipment to start work on a new song. However, I didn’t get home until later than expected, so rather than get disappointed or frustrated or rush trying to make time to do it, I’ve decided to wait until I do have a little time in hand to start work on the music. I am hoping to record and release an album so I remain motivated.

One of my small goals I have been working on recently is improving my end of day routine before bed. Trying not to be on social media quite as much and try and have a calmer final hour. Tonight I have listened to one of my recent vinyl additions to my collection. The Alarm’s In The Poppy Fields Disc 2 (The Normal Rules Do Not Apply) on green vinyl. Just brilliant and I think similar to reading, listening to music helps to clear my head and sets me up for a decent night’s sleep fingers crossed.

I may as finish tonight by mentioning the football. For my sins I am an Arsenal fan, and we got beaten in the FA Cup by Nottingham Forest. I am very much an armchair fan these days and don’t get too stressed by it, and don’t actually watch much football on TV either. But seriously why a club like Arsenal don’t play their strongest side in this competition, which they would stand more of a chance of winning than the league, I really don’t know. Once again it has come back to bite them! Until tomorrow x