rivers2cross

It was on this day one year ago that I called the doctors surgery regarding my mental health, finally admitting that I needed help with depression and anxiety. That same day I signed up for Talking Therapy and began taking Sertraline, which I am still taking. My post from earlier in the week dealt with what had been going on, so today it’s really a day for acknowledging the past 12 months and gratitude to help I was given, the support and understanding of people who I have told, and perhaps a little pat on my own back for taking the plunge to turn things around.

The changes…

• Rediscovered my enthusiasm and passion for fundraising and raising awareness about bowel cancer
• Kept the big dark clouds that would hang over my head at bay
• Doing better at living in the moment and being open to opportunities
• Treat myself and am kinder to myself
• Starting to realise that I am not a bad person and liking myself
• Learning to smile and laugh again without feeling guilty

This is all work in progress and I know that I have a long way to go, but compared to how I was feeling 12 months ago there has been a big change in the right direction. But why the photo about hugs? I think if there was one thing that I still miss on a daily basis it’s hugging. The pandemic brought a halt to that activity and even now post pandemic they are few and far between. Last year when restrictions were relaxed I thought I was going to be in for a hug fest! The reality, however, was somewhat different with nothing really changing. I miss a good old fashioned hug, and the words on the photo ring very true for me. The good news is that I am able to deal with this part of loneliness so much better now. I acknowledge it, but I don’t let it grind me down.

Tomorrow is a brand new day x