Journal   Comments Off on 25/01/2022   25 January 2022

Tonight I made a reel for Instagram with the intention of posting it on here too. Typically the audio track will only play on the Instagram App (copyright issues), so I have had to embed it here as the only way of showing it, but don’t be put off from watching it. Anyway, it’s basically some lovely memories of mum. I am sure that part of my mental health struggles have been bereavement and grief going back to when Dad in 2009. I am beginning to understand that it is ok for me to have happy thoughts, as well as is being ok to have sad thoughts. Memories are something I’ve had trouble recollecting, probably as a protective mechanism, but I feel ever so slowly I might just be beginning to shift this barrier. Within the one minute video there is a photo of me and mum from her final holiday when she went to Cornwall. It is perhaps my favourite ever photo of us together. Two weeks after the photo was taken mum went into hospital following a seizure and that was the beginning of the end sadly x And when I remember Mum this way it just makes me more determined to carry on raising money and awareness about bowel cancer, although not at the expense of my own wellbeing…

The self-care and treats continued today. I’d put this mini guitar delay effects pedal on my Christmas list, but it sadly didn’t appear 🤣 So today my gift to myself arrived and I am looking forward to giving a go. I do have delay effects on my recording equipment as well as on an old effects pedal. But I fancied something pretty basic and simple, especially knowing my own guitar playing ability and limitations, so I think this will be a useful addition to my music making equipment.

Today I had another Gift-A-Bear order. This time a full set of four teddy bears. More about that in a few days, but what it does mean is I have now completely sold out the first batch donating around £200 to various charities in the process. This has only taken a couple of weeks and I thought they would last me for months! The good news is that I have a new batch already ready to go, so if you would like to Gift-A-Bear to someone then place your order to the left x

For those interested in the results of last night’s sleep using the Peace Pillow and Atmospheric Mist, I can report that it was a resounding success. I had a much deeper night’s sleep, so I am very impressed… It didn’t prevent me having the weird dreams that I have been plagued with for the last couple of years, but I think that is more to do with mental issues on a sub-conscious level. So I’ll be misting my pillow again tonight. Until tomorrow x