rivers2cross

This photo of me and Mum was taken on May 27th, 2016 in the beautiful setting of St Anthony A La Menge in Cornwall. It is my favourite ever photo of us together and not because of its significance in terms of her cancer, but just because we simply look happy! And just look at those dogs ❤

Mum had been down in Cornwall for a week’s holiday with friends, and I drove down at the end of the week to collect her and had a couple of nights with Storm and Prince at a lovely hotel in Mullion. It’s a stunning part of the country and it was the week before half-term, so it still was fairly quiet. For my time there it was beautifully sunny, and it was just perfect.

Mum died later in that same year, and I perhaps haven’t dealt with or come to terms with the bereavement very well. Throwing myself straight into writing The Record was a great deflection for me, but only put off the inevitable. Last autumn I knew that my mental health wasn’t good, and part of the reason for that was not being able to grieve. Seeking help was a big game changer for me, and has helped me on so many levels including the grieving process.

I’ve found that I have always associated these kind of memories with sad times. It was only a couple of weeks after this trip that Mum went into hospital following a massive seizure and which sadly signalled the beginning of the end. However, I can now look at this photo and remember just what a happy time it was, how positive and determined Mum was to enjoy the week away, which she certainly did. Just her sheer zest for life and simply living. Sadness of course doesn’t vanish, but I am now able to embrace the happy memories and think back fondly on such precious moments in life.

The way Mum lived her life also serves as an important reminder to me that I only have once chance at this life, and no-one knows what is around the corner. So no regrets, seize opportunities, live life to the full, be kind, be supportive and not worry what others think xx

One of my best friends recently said to me that if there was one gift that Mum left me, it was the fundraising and charity work,which has brought so many amazing people into my life and changed me so much as a person…

Have a wonderful weekend everyone xx