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Henley Regatta was one of the events that Dame Deborah James loved to attend. When I saw her make it to Royal Ascot last week I allowed myself the hope that she might make it to Henley too. Sadly that wasn’t meant to be. We never managed to meet up at the regatta. I think it was in 2019 before the pandemic that we were both there exchanging messages whilst probably almost within touching distance of each other in different parts of the enclosure, so we didn’t manage to meet. My late mother was born in a pub in Henley in 1936, The Sun Inn sadly no longer there, so there is a strong connection to the town for me.
Today is an incredibly sad day for anyone who followed this incredible lady. Deborah’s departing words, “find a life worth enjoying; take risks; love deeply; have no regrets; and always, always have rebellious hope. And finally, check your poo – it could just save your life.” Well it seemed to me that taking my Bowelbabe teddy bear to Henley today was certainly done in the spirit of these words x
Deborah’s achievements in terms of fundraising and raising awareness about bowel cancer have been well documented today especially, and quite rightly so. The beautiful and emotional tributes for so many people touched by her have been so moving. I don’t think there will ever be anyone quite like her again. What I also find so special about Deborah, which is perhaps more understated, is the genuine friendship and support that she gave to so many people who reached out to her, especially those going through a similar cancer diagnosis. She was a genuinely kind, warm and loving individual, who touched the lives of so many people.
I contacted Deborah in 2017 when I was writing The Record. I think I’d seen one of her first television appearances on Victoria Derbyshire. The @bowelbabe tag was growing fast, I think she had around 10,000 followers at this time, which was a few months before the You Me Big C podcast started. She was only too happy to help and we met in Richmond. This was about a year after my mum had died of bowel cancer and approaching a year after Deb was diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer. I will never forget the sight of Deborah walking over the cobble street down to meet me at the river wearing these amazing red high heeled shoes and she could have been skating on ice! The couple of hours we spent chatting over beers and wine was a real education for me. Her passion for trying to make things better for bowel cancer patients shone through. Her fruity language and sense of humour was there throughout. What’s more, as much as she told me her whole story to that point, she was very interested to know all about Mum and what had happened to her. Not only did Debs come on board the book, but she also pointed me in the direction of some wonderful people for the book including both the late Kelly Smith and Greg Gilbert. As with many people in the book, I would always slip into the conversation my love for the music of The Alarm. By chance, she would later meet Jules and Mike Peters from The Alarm, and Jules, a breast cancer survivor, appeared on an episode of the podcast. So, this was why when I got to meet Deborah again, this time at the Henley Literary Festival in 2018, I wore the t-shirt you can see in the photo. She was ever so nice once again and went out of her way to have a catch up. More recently we exchanged messages when I was putting together the Life of Mique teddy bear idea together, and she also gave me her blessing to sell the Bowelbabe Teddy Bears supporting the Bowelbabe Fund.
Whilst not diminishing the trauma and devastation of losing Mum to bowel cancer, I can now appreciate that Mum led a full and very happy life. She was 80 when she died, and although we were deprived of some precious time with her, she enjoyed a really good innings x Deborah and many of the other younger bowel cancer patients got diagnosed at the late stage 4, and makes treating this shitty disease so much more difficult. It is high time that the medical profession STOP dismissing younger patients who present themselves with symptoms of cancer!!! You are never too young to get bowel cancer. Surely it is better to treat people at the early stages of any disease to give them a better chance of surviving and also from a cost point of view, not that I for one moment believe that cost or postcodes should come into the quality of treatment… Deborah and so many others like her have left young children have to rebuild their lives without a loved one x
To anyone out there who needs it, I am sending you my love and support. I will carry on with the fundraising and raising awareness for as long as people want me to do it and continue to support me xx
