rivers2cross

Grief and bereavement is a very personal thing, which affects us all differently and I’ve always believed that there is no right or wrong way to deal with it. Sadly, Mum died on this day 6 years ago of bowel cancer. I immediately threw myself into writing The Record, which meant meeting lots of amazing and inspirational people. It was a very cathartic experience. However, what it didn’t do was allow me to properly come to terms with the loss and to grieve. There’s no doubt in my mind that once the book was finished and published some 3 years later, it left a huge hole in my life that I really struggled with.

This time a year ago I was really finding everything really hard. On the outside I could present a “normal” Tim, but inside I was feeling very low and not feeling very good about myself. Even the fundraising, which had changed my life so much for the better, was becoming a struggle.

Last October I finally sought help for depression and anxiety. Here we are almost a year later and life is looking very different for me. I am so much happier and in a much better place. I have got my enthusiasm back for life, including the fundraising, which continues to bring me into contact with the most amazing people. I know Mum would be so happy to see where all this has taken me. Perhaps the greatest gift that Mum left to me, is that each time I make a new friendship, my life steps forward just a little more each time x

Perhaps most importantly though, on this sad anniversary, is that I can truthfully say that I am working through my grief and coming to terms with losing Mum. This year I have been able to look back on Mum’s life and focus on the happy memories. This is a such a big shift for me. It doesn’t mean to say that I miss her no longer being here any less, but I know she would be so pleased to see me looking to the future now x