rivers2cross

Welcome to my daily journal. I have no idea where this is going to go, but I hope to keep it real and give a daily account of my journey as we go through 2022. The reason for doing this is on the back of CBT therapy sessions that I am currently having and the positive log that I have been keeping recently. I see this journal very much as an extension of that.

At the beginning of October I took one of the biggest decisions and steps of my life in admitting to suffering from depression and anxiety and most importantly seeking help for it. I am still in the early stages and unravelling stuff that has probably been going on all my adult life. I am sure loneliness and bereavement are very much in the mix. I have also been taking Sertraline for the depression for the last three months, and after a wobbly start I am feeling the benefits and feeling a lot calmer and balanced. I have always suffered fro the dreads and feelings of impending bad things happening – that black cloud over my head syndrome – but touch wood I haven’t had these feelings since treatment began.

What I am now currently trying to do is to focus on me and the stuff in my life that I have control over, and to work on coping strategies for the things that I don’t have any control over. I am looking to celebrate the positive gains I make, and accept, cope and understand the negative emotions.

Hopefully this journal will play a part in helping to unjumble the many thoughts I have, my overthinking and look at things like the negative self-talk which I am prone to. This is massive period of change for me, and for someone who does not always embrace change easily it’ will not be without it’s challenges I am sure. I am looking to find a better balance in my life and to remove some of the pressure I tend to put on myself especially where the fundraising is concerned. I know that this is a time where I have look after my own mental and physical health a lot better than I have done in the past. My aspirations for 2022 are to be happy, be kind and find inner peace. So once again welcome and let’s see where this goes… x