rivers2cross

I am someone who firmly believes that Spring starts on March 21st, so we still have a way to go yet. However, this spring like weather is most welcome and I don’t know if it’s a coincidence, but this week heralds the start of few little changes for me and maybe this mild weather has helped me to kickstart the process. I am regarding this tinkering with one or two things as sowing seeds and just starting a few new beginnings. So what I am doing…

• My food diet as in what I am eating. Tonight will be the 5th night on the bounce that I am cooking properly for myself in the evening. It’s been many months since I have managed this and when I have been getting home late it has been all too easy to have a microwave meal or take-away, which is not really a healthy option. So I am making a concerted effort to change this.
• Tiredness… I have been feeling tired for ages. Sadly, a holiday with my working scenario isn’t really possible at the moment, so I am having to look at other ways of addressing the tiredness issue. The plan is to cut down on looking at my phone especially late at night which I can be quite bad at. I have plenty of unread books so I am going to try and read more before the lights go out and hopefully get a better night’s sleep. I must admit that I have suffered from weird dreams for some years now.
• Medication is also kind of linked to the tiredness. I’ve been on Sertraline for over two years now and I think that perhaps part of the reason why I am so tired is down to a side effect of the medication. I am arranging a doctors appointment to change the medication, but I am also having another go at stopping the anti-depressants. In so many ways I am in such a better place than I have been in a very long time, so it’s a good time to come off the medication. Worst case scenario I just go back on it.
• Plans… I’ve started 2024 in a positive mode. I am going out a little more, so not being quite the hermit I have been in recent times. I am making plans and putting dates in the diary. Some gigs, a book signing event and hopefully trying to meet up with some of the wonderful friends I have made in recent years.
• Rebalancing is something I am doing a lot better at. Fundraising has become such a big and important part of my life, giving me drive and purpose, but I am learning that it shouldn’t be at the expense of all else, especially my mental health. So, I working towards changing the way I do things and lowering my own expectations of myself which will hopefully lower the pressure I heap upon myself.
• As far as the fundraising itself goes I am thinking at what else I could do. I am going to carry on releasing music albeit in a less intense way and focus on the creative enjoyment more. I’d like to come up with a new generic cuddly toy for bowel cancer fundraising, especially a new slogan to replace Stop Bowel Cancer which has been on the teddy bears for the last 5 years. I might even consider writing a new book if I can find a theme or project that people might be interest in reading about.
• Developing other interests is something I am trying to do. The new Rivers2Cross Radio show I am putting out every Thursday on MixCloud is a perfect example of this. I am really enjoying putting playlists together and talking about the music that has influenced me. There is no fundraising involved at all with it. Free to listen to and just something I can enjoy doing without worrying about how well it does etc.

Life can be very busy and feel daunting and overwhelming at times. I don’t have all the answers, but I am hoping that these things I am trying will help me maintain and better balance and to feel happier and healthier. However, the main thing for me is to give it a gentle go without heaping any pressure on myself. It is, as ever, work in progress x