rivers2cross

I had smile today as Facebook brought up a memory from 10 years ago. The actual memory of having flowers rejected I’d long since forgotten, but it does kind of typifies my luck over the years! These are my words from 10 years ago.

“These are the flowers I took on a date tonight to give to a young lady, and they are also the flowers I brought home with me from the date as they were declined by the young lady…”

I think this was from a Sunday date at a pub on The Thames near Chertsey. If I am right it wasn’t one of those complete nightmare dates, but I think she felt I was too old… Lord what she would think now 😂

There have been plenty of times when the dating game has really dragged me down into a pretty low place. I’m certainly no victim and would accept that the reason why I remain single is my own fault. Everyone’s friend but nobody seems to see me as a romantic possibility. Three and a half years since my last date pretty sums it up.

However, over the last year I have addressed and come to terms with much of my depression and anxiety. Loneliness is a core part of it all. However, perhaps most importantly, I am so much less tough on myself these days. I even actually like myself a little these days 😄 And rather than beat myself up and overthink everything, I kind of just accept things in a c’est la vie type of way. As per my recent post I do feel blessed and fulfilled at the moment. If romance were to come knocking on my door I’d be over the moon, but I’m focussing much more on me and my own happiness these days. I very much value and treasure all the friendships I have and continue to make x