rivers2cross

I was watching Silent Witness on TV this week, and part of the programme featured a scene where a woman died of sepsis. Then yesterday I was talking to Liv Rowlands for my book, and she told me she’d had sepsis while being treated for bowel cancer. This struck a powerful chord with me, as dad died of sepsis in 2009 after coming down with pneumonia. It is approaching 10 years since he died, but the loss is no less painful even if you do learn to live with it. It’s now two and a half years since mum died, and the time seems to have flown by.

It has got me thinking, because as I near completion of the new bowel cancer charity book my thoughts are turning towards writing the preface, which is basically my reasons and motivation for doing the book. This means baring my soul to some degree, and this is something that doesn’t come easy. I might go on about bowel cancer, and helping to raise awareness, but talking about mum, and certainly about how I felt during the last few months of her life is not so easy – in part because one of my coping mechanisms is to block out those difficult times, and thus I find it hard to recall specifics. This also means I have difficulty recalling some of the countless happy memories. However, it is important that the preface is written from the heart and gets across my feelings to the reader. It might prove hard to write, and possibly hard to read, but I will get there. So many of the people in the book have opened themselves to me, a virtual stranger, so the least I can do is give as much of myself back in return as I can.

This photo is probably about 15 years old and taken at Henley Regatta, which was an annual highlight for mum and dad, who went every year for over years. Dad competed there in the 1950s, although his preparation of pints of beer probably wouldn’t be the norm today!

My forthcoming book, The Record, will be published in 2019 with all proceeds raised donated to Bowel Cancer UK.